Cocooning

We are leaving for Korea in less than 24 hours so this will be the last blog update until we get back, and we probably will not be able to update the blog right away because we will be a bit tired and busy with a little one!

So I am taking the time to let you know what our plans are after we get back. Our agency has done a wonderful job educating us on adoption issues, Korea, multi-racial families, and attachment.

Attachment is the one I want to talk about now. Our son has been taken care of by his foster mother for the past 8+ months. The only mother he knows is his foster mom. And she is doing a great job spoiling him. She is carrying him around all day, feeding him lots of food, playing on the floor with him, and sleeping with him in her bed. And then one day (one day soon!) he will be handed over to us! And we do not look, smell, sound, or act like anything that he is used to. We are probably the last people he would think of as his parents.

The agency said to help with the attachment process, the family should take some time to "cocoon". Cocooning is when the new-family gathers together and bonds with each other. The first week we get back we are just going to stay home and be with our baby. We are not going to go out and we are not expecting any visitors. We need time for our family to figure ourselves out. Our son needs to be able to have time to process who his primary care givers are before we introduce a bunch of new people. As a mommy who has had her son in FULL TIME daycare for the first 9 months, I am going to be a little selfish and take some time for my family to bond alone! Plus I think that we will need some time to recover from our trip and the 14 hour time difference. But it is only a week, so please have a little patience with us, and it will be over before you know it! : )

This brings me to the next couple of weeks. So after Week 1, we are going to want to get out of the house and show off our cutie! BUT there is a catch! We will still be bonding with our child and he is still learning who his Mom and Dad are. For the first month or so, Jason and I will be the only ones holding, feeding, bathing and changing our child. We need to be the ones who fulfill his basic needs so that he knows who to trust. This is really important to us. Since I have not been the one holding my son for the first 9 months of his life, forgive me if I am a little hesitant to hand him over to someone else once I get a hold of him! : ) Again this is for a short amount of time and it will be over before you know it!

So, please do not be offended if when you ask to hold our child we kindly say "no" it is not you, it is us!

I am off to finish packing and cleaning!