Monday, February 25, 2008

Home-study Interview #1

We had our first interview with our Social Worker (SW) today. The whole weekend I was waiting to feel nervous, even today as we were walking up to the agency I thought that I would get some butterflies in my stomach, but I never did. I felt calm and confident the whole time. I could tell that people have been praying for us and that God was working in this situation! Our SW did a fantastic job of making us feel comfortable and relaxed during the whole interview. The SW’s job is to advocate for us during this process so in order to do that she wants as much information about us as possible.

The interview started with us asking the questions that we had for our SW. Then, our SW went through our self study and asked us questions to help her clarify our self-study responses. Most of the questions our SW asked of us were repeats from the self-study, but I am glad that we had completed the self-study so that we had already thought of our answers, instead of coming up with something on the spot. We seemed to really gel with our SW and we feel confident in her ability to work with us, which is a huge relief!!

Our next step is the 2nd interview, which is in our home. It is scheduled for March 6th (which is next week already!) So, I need to stop typing and start cleaning, cleaning, and some more cleaning!!

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

We have a Social Worker!

We got a call last week from our social worker to set up our first Home-Study interview. We are very excited to say that we are finally in our home-study, and it is great to have the name of our social worker.

Our first interview is set up for Monday, Feb 25th at 10 AM. We will be meeting with her at the agency. She said that it usually takes between 2-3 hours to conduct the interview.

So our next step is to finish the first interview at the agency on the 25th. We will then schedule another interview to take place in our home. After that second interview, our Social Worker will write up our Home-Study, and pass it along to the Korea Program. It really is great to reach these milestones, and to see some more coming in the foreseeable future.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Self-Study DONE!!

We had to stay up past midnight on Thursday night, but we are DONE with the self-study and Jason dropped it off at the agency on Friday. We cannot tell you how happy we are to be done. The questions were very thought provoking, and very difficult to answer on paper. Here are some samples:

Personal History
Describe your childhood and adolescence. What memorable events stand out? How were you encouraged and disciplined? What methods of discipline were more and less effective? What was your relationship with your parents and siblings? How did you deal with the transition from adolescence to adulthood? Briefly describe your current job. What do you like best/least? Do you plan any changes? How important is it to your toal life? How would you describe your state of health? What kinds of illnesses have you had or do you have? Describe your use of tobacco, alcohol or medications. How have you handled infertility in your family? What do you do to promote your health/wellness and that of your family?
(Thus concludes question number one, only eighteen more of these to go.)

Current Relationships
Describe your spouse, including stengths and weaknesses. What would you like to change about them? Describe your marriage, including communication, roles, areas of conflict, handling of disagreements, decision-making process and feelings towards spouse's parents. How will adoption impact this relationship? How will you take care of and maintain your marital relationship?

Personal Characteristics
Describe yourself, including strengths and weaknesses. What would you like to change about yourself? How do you react when you feel unappreciated? How do you express feelings such as frustration, conflict, and anger?

Parenting Skills
Describe your parenting philosophy, experiences and skills. Include plans for discipline and nurturing. Describe future goals and aspirations that you have for your child. What about parenting gives you, or will give you satifaction? What parenting skills/techniques have you used before? Have you had prior experience with your local school system? Do you feel prepared to advocate for your child as needed?

Adoptive Parenting
a.) Please describe your personal experience with adoption.
b.) What motivated you to adopt? Please discuss infertility if applicable.
c.) Describe the attitude of your extended family and friends toward your adoption plan.
d.) How do you plan to talk to your future child and others about adoption?
e.) What do you think your feelings to your future child's birth parents will be?
f.) What are your fears, concerns, and hopes about parenting through adoption?

Each of these sections is considered ONE question. There were 19 questions in all. And NO! you may not read our answers, and we don't need any suggestions as to how we should have answered. :) Can you imagine completing all of these questions, packaging them up, and mailing them off to a total stranger who will decide your fate in becoming a future parent? [insert sarcastic comment here] Maybe we should take a poll - how many of you have, or would care to answer all of these questions for your family?

So the next step is to wait for our Social Worker to call us and set up an appoinment for our first interview for our homestudy. There are a total of two interviews - one at the angency and one at our house. It really feels great to have this step done!

Thursday, January 24, 2008

The PAC Experience

We attended PAC (Pre- Adoption Classes) a week ago. It was 2 days of really helpful sessions, designed to educate and support us through the adoption process. I will try to give you a simple break down of our time there.

Day 1
The classes started at 12:15 so we got to lounge about that morning, which was a nice treat for us. We were first put into a small group of couples with a social worker. We discussed topics such as adoption language, what adoption is and is not, and the gains and losses of adoption. These were all really insightful topics to talk over with others who are also adopting. We then attended a session on attachment. The session focused on how a child being raised in an orphanage or in foster care experiences attachment issues that are different than a biological child who is with you since day one. It gave us a lot to think about. During our dinner time, our social worker went through our next steps in this process. After dinner we listened to a panel of adults, who were adopted as children. These people had a great perspective on the process. This panel was followed up with a panel of birth moms. It was really enlightening to hear their stories, and it made me really appreciative to hear their side of the story. That was the end of the night, and we went home with our minds absolutely reeling!!

Day 2
The classes started at 8:30am, so we were up earlier that morning. The first session we went to was on China. The Chinese program has a 2+ year wait time right now, and it keeps getting longer. Afterward, Jason and I had to split up to go separate sessions on Korea (Fawnda) and Russia (Jason). The Korean program is very stable, and the coordinator was really personable and spunky. : ) The Russian program is unpredictable, and bureaucratic. After the country sessions were over, we had lunch with our small group. After lunch, we attended a session on trans-racial families. This was packed with eye-opening information for us. It gave us great ideas about how to embrace the heritage and culture of our child. It was also a good reminder that if we adopt a child from another race, we will not longer be a “white” family. We are excited about becoming a multicultural family, but it seems to come with its own set of issues as well. Then one of the social workers talked about the post adoption services. It is amazing what they have to offer for support after our adoption is finalized. This discussion made us feel even more confidant in our decision with this agency. The day ended with a panel of adoptive parents who were sitting in PAC about a year and a half ago. It was encouraging to hear their stories, and to think that some day we might be sitting on that panel.

After attending all of the country sessions we have decided to go with the Korean program. We are definitely excited to start researching Korea, and to start collecting knick-knacks, books, decorations, clothes, etc from Korea. I feel like we now have a closer connection to our future child!!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Due to Technological problems...

We have not been able to update out blog. Our computer is on the fritz and is in the shop being worked on. We are going to update the blog about the wonderful PAC we attended as soon as we can. Thanks for checking in and we hope to update soon.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Goin' to PAC!!!

The adoption agency called with good news this week. The first news came on New Year's Eve when they informed us that there are several regions in Russia that would accept our application, so we will be invited to attend the Pre-Adoption Classes (PAC) this month. This came as a huge relief, because they only offer these classes once a month. If we did not make it into this month's classes, we would have to wait until February, and that would set back our Home Study another month - PAC is a prerequisite for the Home Study. So, we are set to join PAC on January 17th and 18th. More good news came today, when they called to tell us that Korea would also accept our application. This makes me very excited, since Korea was my first choice (Fawnda writing)!

PAC is a 2 day "retreat" at the agency where they have different sessions on how to do the home study, information on the different countries, information on parenting adoptive children, and other helpful tips and tid-bits of information. We know that it will be very useful. Now, the word "retreat" makes it sound as if we will be getting away. This is not true. The agency is only a few minutes from our house, so we will not be staying anywhere fancy (although, we do have a nicely decorated home). We will be sleeping in our own beds, which is where I prefer to sleep anyway!

The agency also said that we need yet another letter from Jason's doctor (it is the saga that never ends - I tell ya). The agency is looking for very specific wording this time. The new letter needs to state, "there are no complications to internal organs". Hopefully, Jason's doctor can handle this, and it will be quick and painless. We ask for your prayers in this manner, as his doctor has been . . . how can I put this nicely . . . less than helpful.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Is some news better than no news?

Sorry it has taken so long to update our blog. It must to boring to visit, and have nothing new to read. So here is where we are at . . . (basically the same spot as before)

Over the past couple of weeks, Jason had a few more doctor visits. He asked his general doctor to update his letter for our application. We're not sure that the new letter is much better (if at all) than the last one. We were expecting a more upbeat letter after his last lab results were so good. His cholesterol looked great, and his Hemoglobin A1C score was a 6.9. For more information on what this test means, please feel free to view the article we listed. We have come to the realization that this doctor is NOT the one for him. So if you have any good tips on how to find a good doctor, please feel free to comment.

In other news, we are happy to be spending time with famly and friends for the holidays. I have been shopping and wrapping gifts, and trying to keep all of my good buys hidden from Jason (he is so sneaky sometimes). This is one of our favorite times of the year. We love that it is full of tradition. One of our favorites is visiting the Dayton's (now Macy's) 8th floor display, and then going to the Holidazzle Parade of Lights. Only in Minnesota can we enjoy a parade in the frigid temps. We went this year with Fawnda's parents, and then enjoyed a VERY VERY good meal at Brit's Pub. We are looking forward to heading up north to visit the Norman's as the whole family will be together this year, and eating the yummy pickle roll-ups.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Setback

Well, as I sit down and write this, I feel like we had our first setback. To be honest with you, I also hope it's our last.

With our last update, we wrote that we had turned in our application. Within a day of turning in our application, we received a message at home asking Jason to call the agency back, because they had some questions on the information we submitted. I have to admit that I was surprised that they were processing our application so quickly, and for that I must give them a lot of credit. We didn't get their message until after hours, so after a restless night I called them back the following day. The gal processing our application wanted to clarify my diabetic condition. After reading back my diagnosis date, and a list of the medications that I currently take, she said that she wanted to make sure that she had all of that information correct (I informed her that she did - she was reading it right off of our application info). Then she informed me that she received my physical report back from my doctor, and that my doctor had listed my medical status as being "satisfactory". It turns out that most international adoption programs have strict medical guidelines, and even having diabetes puts us on the edge of meeting the stringent guidelines. Apparently, a diabetic who is only taking care of himself in a "satisfactory" manner does not meet the guidelines for the two countries that we are the most excited about: Korea and Russia. If left as is, we could not even apply to adopt from Korea, and there is only one region in Russia that might even give our application a fighting chance. Now, notice that I said "if left as is". That's why we're calling this a setback, and not a screeching halt to the entire process.

The gal processing our application informed me that she felt we could still fulfill the international guidelines if she had more information from the doctor, and if that information proved that I was taking good care of myself (I guess the officials overseas want to make sure that I am going to be around for a while). In all honesty, this report from the doctor was a real slap in the face for me. I cannot say that it was undeserved, because although my diabetic care has been complicated by other factors lately, I have probably been a little more lax than I should have been too. In the past 5 months, I have been meeting with a lot of different medical specialty teams, and I feel like we are making progress on these other issues. Now, it's time for me to get disciplined again about my health, which means detailed blood glucose monitoring, and regular exercise again. The good news is that I have been able to do this before, so I will not be learning new disciplines. It's more like re-introducing my body to disciplines of years past.

We didn't feel that we could leave this situation "as-is", so I scheduled a follow-up visit with my physician for early December, and I have a Hemoglobin A1c test scheduled for mid-December. It's the A1c test that will score my diabetic health for a 3 month period leading up to the test. That should be a good indicator to the doctor about how I'm doing with my management.

A bit of good news - we received tentative dates for our required pre-adoption classes (PAC). The next set of classes are available the third week of January, and we are hoping that we can get into those classes. Otherwise, we will have to wait until the third week in February. With the timing of these classes, it means that I have a little time to get my medical records straightened up, and I won't be holding up our process any more than what is usual and customary.

We do have a few prayer requests for you:
1) That Jason can convince his doctor to provide a better health report.
2) That Jason's test results in December show some fantastic results.
3) That we can get into the January PAC sessions.
4) That Jason's shift back to a disciplined lifestyle will prove to be a rewarding change, rather than another frustrating endeavor.
5) That we grow closer to each other and God as we work through this process.

Monday, November 12, 2007

One Step Closer!

Hip hip hooray! We are finished with the application! It was not an exciting job (in Jason’s words “This is boring”), but it was necessary for the process to start. Here is a glance at what we had to fill out:

General information about ourselves: name, aliases (Jason Bourne and Jennifer Gardner- oops those are different aliases), address, age, race, profession, and income.

Health history: medical history about us and our parents. We had to get physicals for both of us along with a list of medication that we have taken in the last 3 years. Fawnda had to get a letter from her doctor stating that she has been tested and treated for infertility, and Jason got writer’s cramp filling out all of his medical information (hmmm – writer’s cramp – should we have put that on his medical history info???)

Family information: name, age, marital status, number of children and profession for each our siblings.

Home/community information: description of our home, resources around our community (medical clinics, shopping, parks, libraries, churches, community center, etc.) and ethnic breakdown for our city.

Information about our adoptive child: general information about what kind of child we are looking to adopt, what room we are planning on for them in our home, what supplies we have or will get for our child (car seat, crib, etc.).

Recommendations: We had to ask 3 of our friends to vouch for us and write letters of recommendations. They could not be family (related to us that is- we definitely feel that these friends are like family). We truly appreciate the time that these friends took to write these letters for us - we cannot thank them enough.

We also had to make copies of birth certificates, marriage certificates and tax forms.

Background checks: We had to get finger printed and sign several forms permitting them to do a full FBI background check. (I hope they don’t find out about that one thing with that guy at that place! Shhhhhhh) : )

So we have now finished another step!! Now, we must wait for them to review the application, and then we will receive some dates for our Pre-Adoption Classes (PAC), which is a 2 day workshop for educating prospective adoptive parents on the whole process (before, during and after). We are looking forward to attending this workshop soon!!

Please pray that the agency will review our application quickly and that all will go smoothly. Pray for the PAC experience for us, that we will learn a lot and that it will encourage us to go further in the process. Pray that we will not get overwhelmed with the next steps. We hear that the paperwork mentioned above is nothing compared to what is about to come. Yikes.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Fawnda's Poems

I bet you didn't know that Fawnda is a poet. For those of you who are musically inclined, maybe these would make good song lyrics some day.

Here's poem #1:

We are waiting

We are waiting for you
We don’t know where you are

We are waiting for you
We don’t know what you look like

We are waiting for you
We don’t know your name

We are waiting for you
We don’t know what you have been through

We are waiting for you
We love you even though we don’t know you yet

We are waiting for you
You will be such a blessing to us

We are waiting for you
You will bring us so much joy
We are waiting for you



Here's poem #2:

We are wild about you

We are so excited meet you,
There has been so much that we have been through
We will make you part of our home
To get you, far away we will roam

We know that God picked you just for us
In Him we have put our trust
We have learned to wait on the Lord
For us He has so much in store

I can’t wait to hold your hand
And play with you in the sand
I will pick you up when you fall
And come running when you call

I have been dreaming of the day that you will come to stay
It seems like that day is far away
I can’t wait for you to be my child
About you we are totally wild